What Came First, the Story or the Point?

"I have this great story - I just have to find a way to tell it!"

There are many phrases that make me internally cringe when I hear them from a speaking client - and this is in my Top 5 - it's right up there with 'I know you suggested I do this, but my MOM says..." Invariable, the story has nothing to do with the speech they are trying to build, but they are determined to shoehorn it in, because it's cute, funny, or personally important, but not pertinent in anyway to what they are already trying to say in their speaking life.

Make no mistake - I love stories. Stories are crucial for connecting with the audiences. Stories will be what people remember. Stories are, oh, forget it, I have no idea what metaphor to use this morning. Suffice it to say, stories are important, and I wouldn't want to listen to a speaker who didn't use them.

But no matter how great your story is, if it doesn't match the point you're trying to get across, it's nothing more than a diversion, and in the worst cases, can completely derail your speech.

Because most of us love to hear and tell stories, this is an easy trap to fall into. When we're just learning to speak, we're told - "Just get up there and tell a story".

Toastmasters, much as I love them, fall prey to this easily, as they are encouraged to come up with a different speech every month, which puts them into a position of starting their speech with a story, and then, if they're really good at what they do, finding the point within the story to provoke their audience.

When you're learning, this is a fine approach.

When you're ready to get out into the real world, it's a trap. You can't get in front of an audience and just string together a few stories and hope to get by and speaking skills and charm. They might say they loved it, and they might have actually enjoyed the presentation, but it doesn't mean anything you've said, or anything about YOU, will stick with them beyond the next 30 minutes.

Building a speech for the real world means having a real point to share. Granted, it may start with a story you want to tell - surviving abuse, climbing Everest, passing the 400th level of Candy Crush - but ultimately it must have a takeaway point - a spine on which the muscle of your stories can always attach.

Which means that the 'story you just have to find a way to tell' may not work. I don't care how funny it is. I don't care if it makes me cry. All your audience really cares about is 'does this matter' - otherwise known as, 'why is this important to me, or the reason I'm here?'

Be on the lookout, always, for stories. File them away. Look for points within them. Identify which audiences they might resonate with, and consider alternate speeches you might create for them. Just don't marry yourself to the idea of using them just because you love to tell them.

If you're building a keynote - start with your point. Then support the point with stories. Even if your next speech is 'Organize Your Speech' in the basic Toastmasters manual, consider starting with your point, and building the speech around it, finding supporting material from your life and the world around you - it'll be a tougher exercise than simply ranting about your day, but you, and your audience, will get more out of it when all is said and done.

And even if you are sitting there saying - 'But Rich, I have a great story to tell' - STOP. Tell me why you want to tell it, and more importantly why I need to hear it. Does it support the message you're already delivering? Does it have a point that is important enough to build a new speech around? Or is it simply an indulgence, hanging there, tempting you to take your audience on a detour from which they may never return?

Find your point, then your story, and you'll be well on your way as you Speak....and Deliver!

What I Learned From Ryan Avery: 2012 World Champion of Public Speaking

Ryan is Really Tall - at least compared to me.

'Rich, did you learn anything from Ryan today?'

I was asked this question a couple of times yesterday, and it was difficult for me to answer.

Ryan Avery, at the age of 25, won the Toastmasters World Championship of Public Speaking last August - a title I've chased for the better part of the last 12 years, coming up just short as 2nd Runner Up in 2006, when Mr. Avery was probably just a Sophomore in college....!

Yesterday, on his trek moving himself and his bride, Chelsea, to Texas, he stopped to give a free 2 hour speaking seminar about 'How to Give a Great Speech' to 70 local Toastmasters in an event sponsored by our local District 26.

Ryan was energetic. Funny. Humble. Transparent about his failings. Occasionally kept in-check by his wife and his mother-in-law, as most men are. His presentation was well-organized, had a strong power-point that supported his presentation without overwhelming it, and he supported his information with personal examples that kept our attention and interest.

'Rich, did you learn anything from Ryan today?'

No. And Yes. 

No.

I've been studying speaking methods in one way or another, through Toastmasters, through sales training, through drama, and through my own personal passion for the subject for the last 32 years. Ryan and I both had 2004 World Champion Randy Harvey as coaches, so even that homespun advice was old hat. Even his wonderful motivational review of Simon Sinek's 'What - How -Why' model was familiar to me through the teachings of many other speakers I've followed, most specifically John DiLemme's 'What's Your Why?' programs.

And Yes.

First, hearing all this information in such a compressed and concise manner helped me refocus on a few things I want to accomplish. Writing in this blog for one. Possibly competing next year, for another.

Second, I learned a lot about HIM - and all the hard work he put into winning the trophy in just his first nine months. He talked about the hundreds of hours he put into practicing. Probably more hours that I have in my 12 years competing combined. Six kids tend to dominate my hours - just saying.

Third, I learned that he has probably learned more about speaking and the speaking business in the nine months SINCE winning than in his journey to winning in the first place. His presentation and product table was as professional as I've seen from most any World Champion.

Fourth, I learned that my concept of Win Anyway is more important than ever. When someone wins a championship, a gold medal, a political office, whatever, on their first try - it colors their perspective. People teach what they know - and Ryan teaches visualization, writing goals down, hard work, positive attitude - all within the scope of achieving his victory. He says he refused to let the thought of losing enter his mind for any length of time. For him, it worked out. For 29,999 other competitors, it did not.

I don't believe for a minute that Ryan thinks that if we all work as hard as he did, if we all follow his track to the WCPS religiously, that we will all win. It's an impossibility. Still, for him, he doesn't know what it's like to lose in that venue - to get so close you can taste it, and then watch another grasp it for themselves.

He was asked what would happen if he lost, and he really had no answer, beyond 'I couldn't have lost'. I think he meant this, at some level, in a 'Win Anyway' kind of way - that by doing his best he couldn't have experienced a loss. He came close to saying this, but always came back to the statement 'I already knew I was the World Champion'.

You don't know what you don't know - and Ryan doesn't know what it's like to lose the World Championship. Tough to fault him on that, right?

Fifth, and most importantly, I learned that sometimes I just don't work hard enough. On my speeches, on my life in general. Maybe this is a lesson more appropriate for my Win Anyway blog, but I learned it both from 2001 World Champ Jim Key a few weeks ago, and Ryan, so here it is.

Yes, I may have six kids. Yes, we may have a tremendous amount of medical stuff going on, from brain tumors to Aspergers to Degenerative Disk Disorder to Scoliosis to Neurofibromatosis. But it doesn't give me a pass to stop working towards my dreams. Not necessarily winning the World Championship, though that would be nice, but of really getting out there with my speaking career, of making a bigger difference than I've been making.

Ryan Avery was and is all about playing big. As much as I've accomplished, as many people as I've had the privilege of helping, I've still been playing small.

'Rich, did you learn anything from Ryan today?'

No. And Yes. No, I didn't learn how to play big from him - I think Tony Robbins taught me that years ago. And Yes. Ryan reminded me that I SHOULD play big, that I CAN play big, and that I am cheating myself, my kids, my clients, my readers, if I don't.

I doubt Ryan intended that to be his message yesterday. Regardless, that's what I learned. Because Ryan Avery can Speak....& Deliver.

'Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others' - Marianne Williamson

Memorial Day 2013

The President's Speak.

But it's the soldiers who Deliver.

Normandy American Cemetery and Memorial - photo by Rich Hopkins

Remember.

Memorial Day, 2013

Time Flies When You're Having Fun...

Nearly a month since my last post? Doesn't feel like it, that's for sure.

This may seem odd, but I've actually been busy speaking...and coaching...even coaching someone giving a speech about being - wait for it - too BUSY!

How do you handle it when you realize you've left a project, or a blog, unattended to far longer than you imagined? My clients often tell me how easy it is to put off writing their speeches, finding stories for their story log, and contacting potential places to speak. Indeed - I completely understand.

The only answer is to get back to it - to put aside the feeling of overwhelm, the worry that you must come back with some gargantuan effort, and just write, or speak, or call, or whatever it is that you have put aside for so long, and build momentum.

So what have I been busying my time with?

Doris Duke Theatre, filling up for SPEAK.

A trip to Hawaii, for one, where the Toastmasters of District 49 welcomed me to a screening of Speak the Movie. 200 people showed up at the Doris Duke Theatre in Honolulu for a movie style showing. Afterward, I took questions for about 45 minutes, on everything from my mindset to my future plans to how my kids are now, five years later.

Willie Jones - 1997 World Champion of Public Speaking

Sheryl Roush - Accredited Speaker, Author

My host, Cain Kamano, and his wife Liz, showed me a great time the rest of the week, and had arranged for me to give an abbreviated version of my Win Anyway keynote to three Toastmasters clubs in the area, including the home club of World Champion of Public Speaking Willie Jones - who actually showed up and provided me with some valuable feedback afterward.

My last night there was yet another Toastmaster meeting, this time sharing the stage with Accredited Speaker Sheryl Roush, as she and I were assigned to evaluate two speeches that were just a day away from being given at their District contest. If you haven't experienced Sparkle-Tude in person, you can't miss a chance to spend time with Sheryl. Watch for her coming to an event near you!

Coming home, I began going down the homestretch with a few clients competing at Divisional and District rounds of the Toastmasters International Speech Contest here in my home District 26. It's been tremendous working with so many speakers, helping them take their speeches to a higher level than before, and creating a wonderful gift for their audiences. 

At the conference itself over the last weekend, after watching the inimitable World Champion of Public Speaking Jim Key give two outstanding sessions focused on achieving excellence and the value of storytelling, I delivered my own 45 minute breakout session on Creating Championship Speakers with Championship Evaluations - stressing the importance of giving, and RECEIVING, feedback in the most effective ways possible.

Surrounded by 2003 World Champion of Public Speaking
Jim Key and Vocal Coach and Voice Actor Hilary Blair

Before he flew off Sunday morning, Jim kicked off a morning devoted to professional speaking by giving us tips on starting a business as a speaker, followed by some individual coaching. Rounding out the morning, Hilary Blair, professional vocal coach and voice-over professional, offered an entertaining and informative review of vocal exercises and a look into how our voice works both for and against us. I closed the event with 45 minutes with an interactive look at Discovering and Defining your Message, ending with a quick tutorial about product creation.

A whirlwind month, and I've only shared some of the highlights. What have you been doing - what have you been busy with? What stages have you graced? Are you out sharing your message and making an impact? I know you are - many to a much greater extent than I have this month. Share your story in the comments - I love hearing about your successes!

In the meantime, it's OK to get a bit busy, and to get caught up in the gust of wind as time flies. As long as you always remember to occasionally land and catch up, and always, of course, to Speak...& Deliver!