A Note to the Losers in the 2015 World Championship of Public Speaking

Yeah, congratulations and all to 2015 World Champion Mohammed Qahtani. I was watching here in my office in Colorado as you literally smoked the competition.

But this post is for the rest of you. The losers. That's all 95 of the rest of you - because everyone knows taking 2nd just means you're the first loser, right?

In case you don't know, I know how it feels. I've lost all 12 times I've entered the International Contest. I've lost at club. I've gotten lost going to Area, and not showed up. I've lost at Division, 5 times (three of those, I was lucky enough to go to District, anyway). Lost at District this year, for the first time - because I went OVERTIME. Lost at the semi-finals 6 times. Lost at the Finals, twice. The highest I've ever made it? 3rd Place.

And let's not even talk about all the losses in Table Topics, Evaluation, Humorous and Tall Tales. Because, frankly, I just don't like to think about them.

So I'm a loser too. Just like YOU.

And I know how you feel. Especially when people come up and say wonderful things like:

'You gave a great speech'
'I had you placed in the top three'
'I thought you should have won'
'If you had drawn a better speaking order....'
'The winner just had a lot of support in the audience'
'I just don't understand the judges'
'Your message meant so much to me'
my personal favorite, from 2006, when I took third in the Finals 'You finished right where I picked you!'
and, finally, one I use myself 'You're a winner anyway!'

(Editor's note: One I can't identify with, but sympathize with is: 'Toastmaster judges are just biased against women'. But let's save that for another day.)

We hear that. We nod. We smile. We say thanks. And we even try to believe it. But for awhile at least, most of us are seething just a little bit inside. Wondering what we did wrong. Thinking about what we aren't going to get to do. Questioning the judging, our writing and delivery, our coaches, and perhaps even whether or not this whole competition thing, or even Toastmasters thing, is even worth it anyway!

OK - I get it.

Time to SNAP OUT OF IT.

First - Let's face it - you gave a great speech. ALL of you did. And yet, only 10 were going to win the semi's, and only one was going to win it all, no matter what. If you reshuffle the semi's, you'd have different winners in many instances. Heck, if you pit all 10 finalists against each other in a semi - well then you'd have a whole different contest on Saturday. I bet even if you had all the Finalists compete in front of a different set of judges, you'd have a different outcome.

The contest is about finding a CONTEST WINNER even more than it is about finding the best speaker in Toastmasters. Luck of the draw & luck of the day both play strongly into the outcomes. Even those champs that say great things like 'I already knew I was going to win because of the work I put in' or even 'Make the only question be whose in 2nd place' could have fallen to different fates if things had fallen slightly different.

And yes, I'm fully aware of the maxim 'The harder I work the luckier I get'. I'm in favor of both hard work AND luck.

Second - You just finished in the TOP 96 speakers in all of Toastmasters. Out of about 30,000 competitors. That's the top 1/3 of 1 percent. Some of you finished in the Top 30, 20, 10 and 3. That's pretty doggone impressive, isn't it? For some of you, it wasn't even your FIRST time!

You just spoke to audiences of several hundred (or a couple thousand) people on a great stage (or two), with full mics, lights, and cameras. A far cry from your TM meeting back home, I bet. You can pull some sample video without breaking copyright law, and grab a few screenshots here and there to promote yourself, right?

You just spent a tremendous amount of time (hopefully) honing your craft, speaking in front of new people over the last few months, getting coached, and dreaming of 'what if'. That makes you A - a much better speaker than you were a few months ago. And B - aware of the 'what if' you want - which you can pursue without a trophy, in virtually every scenario. Whatever you want to do, you are closer to it now than ever before. Don't chase the wrong trophy.

Third - No whining. No believing the excuses you hear made for you. Don't blame the judges, or the speaking order, or the crowd, or the organization. Don't blame...whatever you want to blame. Even yourself. You did your best. They did their best. Can you do better? Fine - accept that, and do better next time. But the more time you spend whining, the less time you spend getting better. Take it from a recovering whineaholic!

Fourth and Finally - You're only a loser if you choose to identify as such. I give entire keynotes about this concept. Find your victories. Celebrate them. Build upon them. Whether you ever enter another contest or not is inconsequential. You've done something tremendous this summer/winter. Don't minimize, don't regret it. Learn from it. Be better because of it. Give more to your audiences because of it. Give more back to Toastmasters because of it.

You may not be the World Champion of Public Speaking - but you're damn good. Don't chase the wrong trophy, continue to Speak and Deliver, and WIN...Anyway!

I Owe it All to Toastmasters

I owe it all to Toastmasters.

The first time I heard the word 'Toastmasters' was in debate class in the 10th grade.

The second time was 10 years later, from a woman I met at a church singles event - she invited me to her club (Titan Toastmasters, in Littleton, Colorado), which she was not only the President of, but the reigning Toastmaster of the Year. I joined - for three whole months. I gave a couple speeches, teamed her in a club debate (which we won), and then, life got in the way.

I didn't go back for 3 1/2 years - in another state, at a time when I was starting life over after a divorce (yes, from the woman who invited me to TM - at least I have one good result from that relationship), was 'on a break' from the woman I was dating, who I've now been married to for nearly 15 years, and I was looking for something to do. I didn't dance, didn't drink, and didn't play bingo. I had wanted to return to Toastmasters ever since I left it, and it seemed like a good place to go, both for adult interaction, and to get chances to express myself in a positive environment.

I didn't join TM to overcome my fear of public speaking. Or to become a leader - but they didn't really care about that in 1995, or 1999. I joined (Metro TM, Salt Lake City) to make friends, to improve my skills (I was in advertising sales at the time), and basically to feed my ego. I won the best speaker ribbon 9 out of my first 10 speeches on the way to becoming a Competent Toastmaster (CTM) - not that I was counting :)

It wasn't until I was a couple years into my career that I started to go beyond giving speeches, and go beyond myself. I was giving a speech out of the Humorous Manual, and afterward, my mentor, Past District 15 Governor Billie Jones, came up to me with words that would shape my future.

"Rich - you're a great speaker. I could see you on the World Championship Stage. If only you would learn to SAY SOMETHING."

Ouch, as that years World Champion would say (not that I had a clue who HE was at that time!). I did know what the WCPS was - if just on the surface. We had had a guest speaker come to our meeting to practice his Region Speech. To be honest, in the round robin I kind of let him have it - and the next year, when his coach became my coach, I found out said coach agreed with me wholeheartedly. Turns out, the guy went on to speak on the World Stage in 2001 - so he either Won Anyway, or he changed his speech a bit! (He didn't place in the Finals - but Top Ten in the world is still pretty good).

Billie had seen right through me. That I'd been writing speeches (or rather, outlining speeches) at the last minute, even out in my car right before the meeting. I was getting by on natural 'charm and humor', but doling out cotton candy to my audiences that dissolved as quickly as the words left my mouth and reached their ears.

I resolved to never again give a speech that didn't offer intended value - be it inspiration, educational, or even humorous (giving people laughter on purpose has value). I got involved in contests - my first District trophy coming in Fall of 2001 when I won the Evaluation contest.

That, too, would foreshadow my future. My first coaching job came directly from my club, in the Spring of 2004 - when a visitor came in asking for help with a toast for his daughter's wedding - which was just a month away. The folks he talked to walked him over to me, apparently because they figured I was the best evaluator in the club, or maybe they just thought I needed the money! I charged him $100 bucks to help him write and deliver his speech.

I spent countless hours with him, getting to know his story with his daughter, learning to write in his voice, coaching him on delivery (he was amazingly nervous at the start) - basically, my first client taught me how to become a coach. By month's end, he'd handed me 3 bonus checks, and I ended up making $1000 - and he ended up giving what he said was a laugh and tear-inducing toast which impressed the entire wedding party, and, most importantly, his daughter. Oh, and the wedding? Apparently it was being held on top of a castle in Vienna - which at least partially explains his generosity!

From that point on, I declared myself a 'Presentation Coach' - I just said that's what I did, and it was so. It was four years later that I quit my day job to do this full time - at the worst possible time, as those who've seen me in the movie SPEAK can attest to.

I continued in Toastmasters, building my speaking and coaching skills, eventually reaching the World Championship Stage as Billie envisioned (if only she'd envisioned me WINNING), finishing 3rd in 2006, and also appearing in 2008.

I've traveled to far off places like Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia; Toronto, Canada; and Pierre, South Dakota here in the U.S. to speak for Toastmasters, both as a contestant and a District Conference Keynoter.

I've coached clients on 4 continents, both in person and via SKYPE, on everything from contest speeches (Tall Tales, Humorous, and Int'l), business presentations, and full-blown keynote speeches.

And still, I continued in Toastmasters, in Utah, Washington, and now in Colorado - serving as an officer, an Area Governor, a club sponsor, a club coach, a Conference activities organizer, a TLI speaker - and finally earned my DTM this year. I even learned some leadership skills along the way, despite myself.

15 years is just 1/6 of the organization's existence, but it's 1/3 of mine. Toastmasters provided me with a vision of who I could be, and helped give me an avenue to become that vision. I've made friends and met clients from all around the world. I've written two books, helped my wife write a book (and deliver a keynote of her own) an ebook, and this blog has now hit the five year mark.

It's been an up and down ride, but I love what I do - both as a speaker, and as a coach.

And I owe it all to Toastmasters.

I have a lot more I could say. Luckily I have future blog posts to say it, future speeches to share it, future books to fill. For now, let me wish Toastmasters International a very happy 90th birthday - as long as you're there, and I'm above ground, I'll be a member. Here's to another 90, as you help the world do what I've come to call Speak...and Deliver!