Instant Influence by Michael Pantalon - Book 21 of 52 in 52

I wonder if the person who recommended I read Instant Influence really wanted me to read the Robert Cialdini classic 'Influence', which was turned into an audio program called 'Instant Influence'?

Regardless, this is what I picked up, and I'm glad I did. The most important part of speaking is persuasion, being able to influence the audience towards your ideas, solutions, strategies, etc. One of my favorite books in this genre is Dave Lakhani's 'Persuasion - The Art of Getting What You Want', and persuasion is one of the core concepts discussed in any sales books, be it 'Ziglar on Selling' or Gitomer's 'The Sales Bible' or even, on a more personal note, 'The Five Love Languages'.

Michael Pantalon offers up a proven formula to influence others, backed up by his own anecdotal evidence, including trainings, employee interactions, and his efforts to get his dad to stop smoking. He presents it in a way that drew me in immediately, as he described his presentation of his ideas to a tough audience, and walked us through his efforts, obstacles, and ultimate triumph. Essentially, the book is written to persuade and influence us, not just inform us, which is both appropriate and a tremendous example to the rest of us looking at writing our first, or next, book.

So what's his process? Six questions:

1. Ask, "Why would you change?"
2. Ask, "On a scale from 1 to 10, how ready are you to change?"
3. Ask, "Why didn't you choose a LOWER number?"
4. Ask, "When you picture the change already having occurred, what do you see?"
5. Ask, "Why is that important to you?"
6. Ask, "What is the next step, if any?"

Questions designed to keep the subject from getting defensive, to keep us, and influencers, in touch with the heart of our subject, and to, answer by answer, help the subject walk themselves right into the end result we as the influencer want them to reach.

As speakers, pay special attention to #4 - picturing the change. If we aren't getting our audience to picture the result we're trying to get to reach, and to find the importance in it (Step #5), we aren't getting through the way we want to.

The book is filled with examples, and a large amount of rationalization and reasoning behind each question and how they may be answered. The best part? You can use it on yourself!

Seeing the series of questions, you might think it's overly simple. It is, to a degree, until you start considering the answers you can get, and the personalities you'll deal with. While some books serve to just add padding around some basic principles, such as the two recently-reviewed books, The Go-Giver and The Four Agreements, 'Instant Influence' makes itself invaluable as a whole, not just a process.

Available on Audible, which is how I listened to it, this is a must add to your library as a speaker.

5 Stars out of 5.

The Imposter Syndrome

"I haven't succeeded enough..."

"I'm not a financial success..."

"I have too many problems..."

"I've never been the head of a (team, company, country, non-virtual universe)..."

"I'm too (young, old, whatever)..."

"Who would want to listen to ME?"

Have you ever said the above? Or a version of the above? I know I have. And sometimes I still do. I hear it from clients all the time. Not just some clients - almost ALL my clients, regardless of what they want to speak about.

It's usually followed by a discussion centering around 'what if my clients or my audience find out who I really am, and what I really haven't done?' and a desire to just throw hands up in the air, toss speaking dreams in the trash, followed by a quick trip to the refrigerator for some ice cream consolation.

Feeling like an imposter, particularly when we're putting ourselves and our ideas out to the world, is a natural feeling for many. Whether it started in childhood with 'be seen and not heard' or criticism from fellow kids or even teachers and coaches telling us we weren't as good as we thought we were - heck, even just the experience of getting an answer wrong after raising our hand - can severely dent our self-esteem.

The world tells us 'there's always a bigger boat' - someone smarter, someone prettier, someone just plain better than US - and we're better off to just lie low and let THEM do what WE wish we were doing.

It's safer that way. Less hassle. And the only person who knows we're a coward, a wimp, a fraidy cat failure - is ourselves.

Problem is, it isn't true. At least, not completely.

If you're sharing your thoughts, your experiences, your conclusions - you're not an imposter. "Even if you aren't always living completely by your thoughts, experiences, and conclusions?" you ask. Yes, even if. None of us is perfect. We don't always make the extra sales call. We don't always communicate perfectly. We cheat on our diets. Occasionally, we even straight-out fail. That makes us human.

The key is in our authenticity and intention. Are we telling the truth? Are we wanting to live by that truth? Perfection isn't required, but intention is.

You may not be the only source, or even the best source, but you are a VALUABLE source. No matter what their standing, what there level of experience, all speakers are imposters, to some degree, and you can almost always find a better expert, a smarter person, or even just a better presenter.

The real challenge is accepting the truth above, and then deciding how you're going to deal with it, how true you decide to make it, based on how you market yourself in your speaking career. If you're broke, and you want to tell the world how to make money, you're an imposter to varying degrees. Yes, you can be teaching a proven system from someone else, which makes you more viable, but you better be on your OWN way to financial security as you teach others.

If you're not in shape, don't talk about getting in shape, unless you used to be in shape, and can share how you got out of shape.

If you've been married eight times, depending on the reasons, you may or may not want to talk about effective dating, relationship communication, or the care and feeding of your spouse.

Get the point? Stay in your areas of experience, and don't promise more than you've accomplished.

I promise my clients will become better speakers, because I have, and continue to become, a better speaker. I don't promise they'll become worldwide millionaire speakers, since 'I is not one', as my grandaddy would say, but I can share the techniques I've seen from those who have done it.

I give keynotes about Winning Anyway, because I do that on a daily basis, in my relationships, finances, physical life, and even in my competitive career competing for the World Championship of Public Speaking.

It's still easy to feel like an imposter, knowing one day I'm figuring out how to fix my car and the next I'm booking a ticket to Malaysia, that in the morning I'm dealing with insurance issues and at night I'm emceeing a public celebration.

But that's real life. We aren't always who we APPEAR to be on stage, at work, in public in general. We're imposters. Except we're not- as long as who we are UNDER the appearance remains constant and true. As long as our integrity is intact, our character consistent, and our promises kept.

Be the best you for your audience - they're busy trying to be the best them, most likely. Give them your message, your life, your passion, your experience, your failures, your lessons - give them the authentic YOU, even if you're wrapped up in the imposter that takes the stage - so they can take reality back with them into their lives, where it will still exist, still matter, once they return to who THEY really are outside of the room you've spoken in.

What's It Going to be Like in Malaysia? An Interview with Loghandran Krishnasamy

As I prepare for competing at the 2014 Toastmasters International Convention for the coveted title of World Champion of Public Speaking, I thought I better get the lay of the land a bit. This is the first convention outside of the North American continent, and it's all the way on the other side of the world! (At least, MY world)

In 2008, I competed with Loghandran Krishnasamy, who ended up taking 2nd in the world - and it just so happens he lives in Kuala Lumpur. I figured, hey, why not give him a call and find out what I need to be aware of, from the weather to the food to the culture to the tourist dangers. Then I figured, hey, why not record it and let EVERYONE know? Fair's fair, after all. So below is our phone call - complete with answers to all my questions, and a healthy dose of coaching, to boot.

We hope you enjoy it.

Did Admiral McRaven REALLY Speak & Deliver?

Naval Adm. William H. McRaven, BJ '77, ninth commander of U.S.Special Operations CommandThe commencement speech by Naval Adm. William H. McRaven, BJ '77, ninth commander of U.S.Special Operations Command, has been making both the internet and TV news blurbs today, with the video of his commencement speech at the University of Texas. I happened to see (not hear) it on CNN as I was doing my 20 minutes on the stationary bike at Planet Fitness today.

Now I've seen and heard it - and I'm both impressed by the content and depressed that this speech is all it takes to get the world all a-Twitter about a speaker. Before I break down my thoughts - here's your chance to watch it yourself.



First, let's focus on what Admiral McRaven did well:

A. Strong Start - even though he started with 'thank you's'. If he'd just started with 'It's been almost 37 years to the day...', he would have been fine. Really. But I digress - the power of three started him well as he went to connect: the headache from the party, his girlfriend/now wife, and the humorous twist about his own commencement speaker. He let them know he 'got' them, and gave a promise - that he would be short. 20 minutes? Yeah, it's a TEDtalk - so short enough.

B. Promising Premise - that we can all make a difference, combined with a 'proof' story of soldiers that make decisions that affect not just individuals, but generations. He then promises us that we don't have to be in the military to make the difference, and 'asks permission' to tell us how. An old method, but smoothly done with just a touch of self-deprecation from this 'old sailor'.

C. Point, Story, Point, Story - in the grand tradition of public speaking for the last 100 years and more. It's not just the structure that was effective, but the choice of stories - starting with 'If you want to change the world make your bed' kept the talk from being immediately dismissed as too serious or overly dramatic. Further stories alternated between third-party and personal, and all served to support is overall premise.

D. Dressed the Part - like it or not, the uniform gave him more credibility that a long introduction (which may have actually happened, granted) paired with him in a regular suit. Now, if he had not given a Navy Seal speech, he may not have worn the outfit - but why would he give any other speech?

E. Hired a Speech Writer - ok, I have no way of knowing this, it's a total assumption. It's well-written, concise, filled with strong transitions. If he wrote it, he's definitely got a future when he retires. There's nothing wrong with hiring a speech writer, especially if your main role in life is not speaking, and often, it's a much better alternative than spending all the time and stress of writing one yourself. Just make sure you find a writer that is willing to learn to write in 'your voice', vs. a copywriting propoganda machine.

F. Kept his Promise - through the point/story approach the Admiral provided instruction, and through his closing 'ring the bell' metaphor, and a cursory mention of others who have made a difference, he gave us a call to action, both of which brought the audience to a point of closure and certainty that they could, as he promised, make a difference.

What he could have done better:
A. Eye Contact - perhaps it's the hat, perhaps its the camera angle. But I really think it's simply that he's attached to his script. More practice would help with that, and a bit more trust in himself. Trust that he knows his stories, particularly his personal ones, well enough not to need the notes. After all, what is his audience going to do, call him out on telling them wrong?



B. Vocal Variation - I know, he's in the military, and he used his 'voice of authority'. Constantly. Virtually no variation of range. It's wasn't monotone in a 'Bueller, Bueller, Bueller' sense, but it was extremely even, despite so many opportunities to go loud or quiet, faster or slower, and higher or lower in pitch. Much of his material that could have brought large amounts of laughter (munchkin boat crew, sugar cookies, and jumping down the rope headfirst, in particular) failed to do so because he was so blasted serious the whole time. Vocal cues (and, y'know, an occasional SMILE) let us know it's ok to laugh.

C. Been Shorter - Yes, I said he kept it to a TEDtalk, but he could have shaved off 5 minutes without losing much. Had he leveraged his humor better, I wouldn't have had an issue with the time, though. Laughter make any speech seem shorter.

D. Identified our Bell - 'ring the bell' is a pretty common metaphor in a military speech. What bells will his audience face? A quick round of three examples, even a humorous example in the end, followed by a repeat of the 'ring the bell' concept, would have anchored the thought in the minds of his audience in their own terms, giving them more traction with the idea, and a better chance of retention of the meaning, not just words.

Is this a great speech? No, I don't think so. Is it a strong speech, with an important message, that will be remembered for awhile? Yes, certainly. Is it better than 90 percent of what passes for a great speech these days? Almost without a doubt.

Could it have BEEN a great speech? ABSOLUTELY.

It all comes down to the element of delivery.

That's what I strive for in my speaking, and in my clients speaking - matching strong content with great delivery - so that they work together to create a truly great speech. That doesn't mean there aren't a lot of good speeches out there. Nor am I trying to tell you that this speech is a bad speech. It's a very good speech.

One I wish had been GREAT.